cardi b hustlers
Instagram: iamcardib/constancewu

Cardi B joining “Hustlers” is bad news for Constance Wu

It has been confirmed by Deadline that Cardi B has joined the upcoming movie “Hustlers.” The “These expensive, these is red bottoms, these is bloody shoes,” rapper will play a stripper alongside Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu. The movie, inspired by a 2016 New York Magazine article, is about a group of strippers that get together to hustle some Wall Street clients. Sounds good and sounds fun, but this seriously puts Constance Wu at a disadvantage.

It was bad enough when this project was announced, Wu would play a stripper next to Jennifer Lopez, but now she’s got to compete with Cardi B too. Jennifer Lopez was an original fly girl and professional dancer before she ascended to be the superstar she is now. And Cardi B was an ex-stripper, who started stripping since she was 19-years-old, before she turned into a successful rapper. Constance Wu is just a theater kid who played Mahjong with Michelle Yeoh.

To be a stripper these days, you got to have that junk in the trunk. J. Lo is one of the OGs of having junk in the trunk before having junk in the trunk was cool. And even at the age of 49, she got one of the best junk in the trunks in the game.

Having to be a better stripper against J Lo was going to be tough for Constance. But now that Cardi B has joined, it gets so much harder. Cardi isn’t playing around when it comes to having junk in the trunk. And being a stripper nowadays, a stripper needs to know how to twerk. And one of the requisites of twerking is having a big ass. Just look at the video below, Cardi B made a whole music video of her and her friends twerking.

If you don’t got ass, you don’t want to end up like this white girl who asks for help when she couldn’t twerk.

 

Now, I’m not saying Constance Wu doesn’t have junk in the trunk. Cause she clearly does.

But her junk in the trunk is more the Marie Kondoed, decluttered trunk. So I’m guessing Constance Wu will play the more quiet reserved, sensual stripper. The “classy” one. But if she does pull it off and outshines Cardi B and J Lo as strippers, just give her the Oscars for best actor because she did the impossible.

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