I have scoured the internet looking for the funniest Asian Tinder profiles. By scouring I just typed in “Asian Tinder Profile” and was hoping to find a lot of Asian Tinder Profiles but I didn’t really find many, just 10. So let’s take a look and see which of these Asians I would date.
Our first contestant is Samantha, she’s 21 years old and stands 5’2. She starts off with, “I want to do adult things with you.” Oooh, Aaaah she has my attention and I’m turned on.
But she turns it into a joke by saying, “*moans* make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was f**king $300 this month.” But I find humor sexy so I would definitely go out with her. Also, who doesn’t like a girl that knows about saving money and paying bills on time? So out of 10 I give this girl an 8.
Next up we have Joo Kong who is 27. Her profile reads, “I use tinder while I’m dropping a deuce…now that is some romantic ass s**t, literally.”
Real nice. A girl after my own heart. Who hasn’t made life choices on the toilet? Another bonus for the girl is that she admits taking a s**t. and she calls it a “deuce”. The real question is was she on the toilet when she took this picture? I would definitely take this girl out. She gets a 7 out of 10.
Next up has no name but she or he is from Thailand. The 25-year-old tells us “I’m not a ladyboy please don’t Ask me anymore!!”
Now I’ve been to Thailand and I got to say it does get confusing. This lady says she’s not a ladyboy but during a date, that’s all I’m going to think about. I’m going to look real close to see if she has an Adam’s apple or if her hands are bigger than mines. But if she does turn out to be a ladyboy I won’t mind. Who doesn’t want an extra 6-inches to love? So this lady gets a 6 because she didn’t really make much of an impression on me outside of the whole ladyboy thing. But if she is actually a ladyboy I’m giving her a 9.
Next up we have Braxton who happens to be 23 and is a makeup artist. She looks really good and I like the confidence exuding from her picture. I’m ready to take her out but then I read her profile.
Damn only white dudes. BOOOOOOOOO! But I got to respect her honesty. Better to find out early than to find out later and be disappointed. So she gets a 0/10 from me.
Janna is our next contestant. At the age of 28 years old I’m getting the sense she’s a drunk. Is she even Asian? I don’t know but she looks sort of Asian so let’s go with it.
Got to say I like this girl. “If you don’t look like your profile pic, you’re buying all the drinks till you do.” I like that. A beer mug half full kind of girl. Additionally, since I’m a drunk too, if we have any problems we can just drink our problems away. Girl, you get an 8/10 from me. I’ll see you at the next Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
Next girl doesn’t have a name but she’s 23.
I got to pass on this girl. I need more personality to show in your profile description. Although being able to guess Wifi passwords is an amazing skill I’m going to guess you get it wrong all the time. You’ll just be wasting my time. You get a 5/10.
Vanessa is a 19-year-old who says she has multiple personality disorder.
I’m going to have to pass on her. Even though she might be joking I can’t take that risk. What if one personality is boring and I ask her to bring out a person who is more fun. The original personality will get mad at me and the whole date is ruined. I can’t take that chance. I’ll give her a 6/10.
We have what appears to be a hapa. Her name is Christine and she’s 19. Let’s take a look at what she has to say.
She says, “I don’t date black ni**as”, Asian triggas, or really white jiggas, basically like Hispanic, or if your white, work out, and look grown as f**k.” So she dates Hispanics and buff white guys. And what is an Asian trigga? I’m pretty sure I’m not an Asian trigga but I’m not white or Hispanic so I guess I’m out. She also says, “No I’m not racist, but let’s be real.” Okay, let’s be real you are at the very least a little racist. She gets a 3/10 for confusing me.
Anna is a 25-year-old American girl living in Taiwan.
Her profile is a little confusing. It reads, “Asian guys(including Asian American – Indian is Ok), guys under 6’0″, and religious people please swipe left.” Is she saying Asian guys are not okay or okay? Is only Asian Indians allowed to date her? Or is she saying Asian guys including Indians’ are okay? Whatever it is, the most messed up part is that she has to say she’s okay with dating Asian guys. It’s even worse because she’s living in Taiwan. Taiwan is like 99% Asian guys, the rest is expat teachers. But I digress. I’m giving her a 7/10. I would go out with her just to ask her if she wasn’t in Taiwan would she date Asian guys?
And last but not least my personal favorite is 22-year-old Chloe.
Damn, that got dark quick. She’s probably joking but I hope not. Nothing like laying next to a girl about to dose of wondering if you’re going to be alive the next morning. Chloe, you get an absolute 10 from me.
So there you go, real clickbait s**t but I had fun writing it. Which Asian lady was your favorite?