The annual New Taipei City Fire Department Calendar is out. The calendar celebrates Taiwans sexiest firefighters. The calendar got its start in 2018 according to Inkstone News and every year the men and women just get hotter. These hunks and babes aren’t just there to look steaming hot, they also want to spread the word on fire safety. “We have to educate the public about fire and disaster prevention,” said Huang Shang-ming, the officer-in-charge of the calendar project. These calendars are given away for free and it’s been a great recruitment tool.
First up we got Mr. January. He goes by the name Chang Shih-yuan. His safety tip is, “keeping stairways clear makes evacuating buildings easier.” Great advice there Mr. January. You’re rating is a 7/10.
For February we got two Taiwanese studs. Li Wei-hao and Yeh Hung-ch’ing. Ther advice is, “be careful when playing with firecrackers, and make sure to read the label.” These yellow beauties get a 10/10 from me. Brett Kavanaugh claims to not know that the “Devil’s Triangle” is a sexual term, but I do. And let me say I’ll be the Chinese finger trap between these two studs. No Homo. Actually, maybe a little homo.
Lin Nien-tso is Mr. March and he warns hikers, “do thorough research, and there’s safety in numbers.” Mr. March gets an 8/10 looking all sexy laying on a rock with a rope coiled around that chiseled body.
For April we got our first woman. Su Hsia-hsuan tells us, “be vigilant of forest fires and extinguish your flames.” The 27-year-old is the first female firefighter captain in 10 years reports Inkstone News. She leads a team of 30 and she wants to encourage more women to join the force. “We can talk about gender equality. If men can do it, women can do it too,” she said. Ms. April gets a 9/10 for being a boss.
Ho Wei-sheng graces the month of May. His tip is, “evacuation and prevention take precedence over rescue.” His arms seem a little short for my taste so Mr. May gets a 7/10.
Mr. June is Huang Chuan-i. His safety tip is, “playing with water if fun, but stay on guard against drowning.” On a serious note, one of the leading causes of deaths for children is drowning. So heed this hot man’s advice. For giving such great advice and having just some great F**k me eyes, I’m giving this guy a 10.
Mr. July is Ricky Liu and his advice is, “playing in water keeps you cool, but remember your safety equipment!” I don’t know how this man stays cool with his hotness but I guess wearing jeans inside the ocean helps. Ricky gets a 9/10. Fun fact, Ricky was a fat kid in high school until firefighters came to his school and gave him a calendar. That day he made up his mind that he would one day grace the calendar. He exercised and now he’s accomplished his goal.
Mr. August, Huang Ching-yuan says, “pay attention to the paths of typhoons and change your outdoor activities accordingly.” Mr. Huang gets an 8/10 for looking all cool and sexy on a jet ski.
Something even Jay Z couldn’t do. However, now that I think about it, I’m going to have to dock a couple points because Mr. August isn’t wearing a helmet and life jacket. You’re supposed to lead by example and show how to correctly and safely ride an ocean motorcycle. Safety is sexy and safety comes first, so Mr. August you get a 6/10.
The second woman to make the list is Ms. September. Her name is Lai Kuan-chieh and her concern is earthquakes, “you don’t get much warning so it’s always better to hold disaster drills early.” She definitely a 10/10. It’s a good thing she got guard dogs so that she can keep the real dogs away.
Mr. October goes by the name of Ou Tao-cheng and he has a word about kids, “We have to teach kids about fire safety and smoke detectors.” Okay, solid advice. Out of all the guys here he seems to have the most mimbo qualities, but at the same time, he’s flying a drone so that makes him smart right? Mr. October, you get a 6/10. Work those shoulders a little more.
Mr. November is Yang Sheng-fu. His advice is, “look for cover, and put your head under a table for protection.” Mr. November is a 10/10 and he knows it, so watch out ladies because this boy is a playboy. He won’t care about you. He’ll just leave you with a broken heart.
Last but definitely not least is Mr. December. Chen Yu-chun says, “one has to be careful when using gas at home: bear safety in mind and ventilation is key.” Mr. December gets a 10/10 because I like axes.
Well, there you go. Makes you want to start a fire just to get rescued by these hot man meats. I hope to meet any of them on Tinder. But most importantly, remember to heed their advice because fires ain’t no joke. And I will take what they have to say to heart because beautiful people have that effect on me. Messages about fire safety are way better coming from these sex gods then that stupid Smokey The Bear. And this concludes rating Taiwans sexiest firefighters, 2018. See you next year.