Apple just released it’s latest emojis to the public and one caught a lot of people’s eyes. Apple calls it the “pinching hand” emoji but anyone that see’s it knows that it’s a small dick emoji. Every guy and girl in here knows this hand signal. Women all over the world don’t have to know the same language but if they put their fingers up and make the small dick gesture they’re all of a sudden speaking the same language. It’s vicious slander and should not be tolerated in a civil society where we try to be as empathetic as possible.
The most devious part of this small dick emoji is that nobody will complain or fight for the little dick man. If you’re a guy and you speak up about how this is dick shaming then everyone will laugh at you and say “you have a small dick.” And if you’re a girl and speak up they’ll feel sorry for you thinking that the only reason you’re saying something is because you have a boyfriend with a small dick. They’ll feel sorry for the poor girl but laugh at her guy behind his back. Now that’s messed up. It’s a no-win situation. Totally unacceptable. But it’s always been like this and unfortunately for small dick dudes, it always will be like this and this tear is for you guys. 😢
So why did Apple release this small dick emoji? Is Tim Cook trolling Asian guys? As an Asian guy, I’ve been haunted by this ugly stereotype all my life even though I have a properly hung mega-sized wang. It’s one thing people will throw in an Asian guy’s face pretty much anytime. Go check out any social media account of any Asian guy and there will be thousands of comments about how he has a small dick. The guy could be talking about some trivial matter like how he prefers Nikes over Adidas and the comments will be like, “yeah he would like Nikes because this small dick Asian guy need’s that Nike Air technology to jump high.”
None of it has to make sense. Just say that the Asian guy has a small dick and that’s the reason Asian guys can’t keep Asian women and flock to white guys. But those are low-level basement dwelling trolls. Tim Cook is the CEO of one of the richest companies in the world so why would he take shots at Asian men?
A long time ago when smartphones originally came out, Apple was the big dog selling the most smartphones in the world. But soon Samsung beat Apple and now Huawei has surpassed Apple to become the second biggest smartphone seller in the world. And what do Samsung and Huawei have in common? They’re both Asian companies. Samsung is South Korean and Huawei is Chinese. In a world where smartphone sales are declining taking the bronze is not a good sign.
Plus Samsung and Apple have been fighting since the inception of the smartphone. They sued each other for billions of dollars and their relationship is contentious at best. Nevertheless, during that time, Apple was making mad money until last quarter when their stock took a dive on a weak outlook. As CEO, your job is to make your company as much money as possible. When things are going good you get all the credit but when things are going bad you blame others. So who did Tim Cook blame for his company’s problems? China. Tim Cook told CNBC that, “If you look at our results, our shortfall is over 100 percent from iPhone and it’s primarily in greater China.” How convenient. Now he’s taking passive aggressive below the belt pot shots at Asian men because of his failures.
Some of you might say I’m looking too deep into this but am I? The USA and China have been beefing for centuries and just recently the CFO of Huawei has been jailed on behalf of the United States in Canada.
And if you need any more proof, ask yourself what is the “pinching hand” emoji and when are you supposed to use it? I can’t think of one instance in my text messages I would use it.
“Want to go get something to eat?”
“Sure, ‘pinching hand emoji’.”
“WTF you saying I have a small dick or something?”
See that pinching hand emoji doesn’t work in any conversation. The only way it would work is if it’s to dick shame.
“Did you hook up with Steve?”
“‘pinching hand emoji’”
Finally, when did Apple decide to release it? It’s Chinese Lunar New Year, enough said.
Check out the small dick emoji and all the other new emojis below.
There are 230 new emojis for 2019! Which is your favorite? pic.twitter.com/EXodBrKAlN
— Daniel Peter (@danieljpeter) February 6, 2019